I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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