He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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