She just used a chaser for red wine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
