As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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