i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
