ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
