Apparently you make a good broom.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?