just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?