Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize