I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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