i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
