Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
