just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
