i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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