We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
