I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Congratulations! We have a period
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