Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
