i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
