sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
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i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...