yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
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I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
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Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...