you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
