So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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