Me too!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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