I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize