Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
