So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
