I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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