well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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