32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
