I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
