I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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