Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
