Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
