Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
