is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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