Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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