so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
