Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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