I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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