sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
