We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
