google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
