My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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