She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
