i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
