So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
