Whod you bang
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?