Texts From Last Night

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  (607): View more from New York

  just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.

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  (607): just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school. http://tfl.nu/1unl
  Replies (20) Good night (4444) Bad night (783)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.

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  (832): Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night. http://tfl.nu/2nh3
  Replies (20) Good night (4235) Bad night (1959)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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  (617): what date should I let him know how fucked up I am? http://tfl.nu/6aws
  Replies (17) Good night (1254) Bad night (4192)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

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  (847): Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets http://tfl.nu/vbys
  Replies (8) Good night (4187) Bad night (1082)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.

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  (210): I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad. http://tfl.nu/3nvp
  Replies (33) Good night (956) Bad night (6905)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.

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  (717): DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!! (717): Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly. http://tfl.nu/0dyl
  Replies (22) Good night (1493) Bad night (3290)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing

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  (404): I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing http://tfl.nu/nbfy
  Replies (25) Good night (865) Bad night (1444)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

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  (808): And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up. http://tfl.nu/dab6
  Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.

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  (914): Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73. http://tfl.nu/mdyq
  Replies (14) Good night (2708) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes

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  (415): I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes http://tfl.nu/o499
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (759)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.

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  (602): All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kqy9
  Replies (4) Good night (1234) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much

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  (603): And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much http://tfl.nu/ke95
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.

  (650): View more from California

  Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.

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  (925): Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to. (650): Its a good thing to know for upcoming events. http://tfl.nu/a1ga
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (302)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did

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  (205): There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did http://tfl.nu/00cd
  Replies (2) Good night (362) Bad night (930)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?

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  (804): Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics? http://tfl.nu/u5k0
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (530)

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