Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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