you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
