Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Two words: blizzard sex
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
