you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
