Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
