I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
