Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize