His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
