So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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