just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
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I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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