So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
