And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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